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Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Baby Talk

Alright, alright... lets not get too excited here. I am NOT pregnant.  Let's just get this out of the way now.

If you read my blog, you know that George and I just had our first wedding anniversary, and logically, the next step is to have a baby. Everyone, and I do mean everyone (at least that is what it feels like) is asking me, "When are you going to have a baby?"

The face I make when people ask me this question
Then I usually go into a big long answer that sounds something like this:

I'm a planner.  I like things to happen when I'm ready, when I'm expecting them, and most importantly: my way.  So, in my natural planning nature, I thought that this would be the time that George and I would seriously start to think about having kids.  I have had this date in my head- an imaginary note on the calendar in my brain, that this is the time get preggers.  As this "date" approached, I got more and more uneasy.  Like, "WTF are you doing, Emily?" uneasy.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I am SO excited to have a baby.  Having a little, tiny George and Emily hybrid is going to be great.  I'm just not ready right now.

The biggest reason that I'm not ready is our living situation.  I want to be settled and secure in my new job before a junior George comes along.  George will be working in Peoria while I'm wrapping up things in Indy.  Doing a long distance thing is going to stink, and doing it pregnant would be ten times worse.

I have some goals that I want to complete. I'm just now getting into running, and to be honest, I'm having a wonderful time being selfish.  George and I do whatever we want, whenever we want.  If we decide that we want to get sushi for dinner, it takes us about 5 minutes to be out the door and on our way.  No babysitter, no planning, just spontaneity.  If I need to run to Target, I'm already there in the time it would take to pack up the car.  (Besides, Target is my happy place... a screaming baby puts a serious damper on strolling through every aisle.)

We watch Orange is the New Black at noon on a Sunday.  No Thomas, Doc McStuffins, or Mickey Mouse.  We enjoy sleeping past 7:00 AM on the weekends, and driving two door sports cars.

I know that giving these things up doesn't even make a dent in the happiness that a child brings you.  Waking up early doesn't matter when you see your baby's smiling face in the morning, and a car is just a car.  I'm one hundred percent clear about this, but I feel like I want just a few more months to enjoy these things.

You may be asking yourself what George has to say about all of this.  George is pretty laid back, and tells me that whatever happens, happens.  He is looking forward to having a kid, but like me, would prefer for it to be when we are settled.

Now, I know everyone says, "You'll never be ready."  But, is that really true?  I feel like surely, there has to be a state that is "more ready" than I am now.

When did you know that you were ready to have a baby?


  1. I'm on the same boat as you. I got married in December and of course have started thinking about having kids one day. I used to say no kids till I'm 29 but that's in 2 years now and I still don't think that's enough time. But I know so many people who've struggled getting pregnant once they reached 30 so that worries me too. I do think you're more ready than other times, I mean I'm definitely more ready now than say when I was 19, but I do enjoy being selfish and doing what I want when I want. Personally my motto is if I get pregnant any time sooner or later it's really ok because I am married now so that's one less thing that I have to worry about. And I think once you have a baby, ready or not, you learn to adapt.

  2. I had a time frame in mind also. I said I wanted to be married for 3 years before we had a child. This would givd us time alone to just enjoy our marriage. We stuck to that fairly well. There is no rush to have a baby, but life is not over when you do. Brian is a morning person, I am not. So he is up with Liam in the weekends while I contine to sleep in. You will know when to have the baby, you will want to have a baby. Does that mean you will be "ready"? Probably not.

  3. Hi there! New reader, first comment - and this post is exactly why I like your blog! I literally could have written this post myself, word-for-word (except for the living long distance situation part... that sucks!)

    My husband and I have been married almost two years now, we're in our mid-20s, we just bought a house... therefore, everyone and their mother assumes the next step is a baby! And I kind of gag every time I think about it. Like you, I'm super excited about being a mom when the time comes, and I can't wait for that phase in our life, but at the same time... I CAN wait. Because right now, I really like going to the gym whenever I want, and eating ice cream for dinner if I want, and watching Sons of Anarchy until 2 AM if we want. It's selfish, I guess, but I just can't picture adding a baby to the mix right at this moment. Whether it's time, according to my mental master plan from when I was 12, or not.

    Thanks for your honesty! I'll keep reading :)

  4. Also newer reader and first comment. I am also a hardcore planner so I can relate to your mindset. I am almost 27 and will be getting married next April. I plan to (as much as one can plan these things) wait one year after we get married to start trying to get pregnant. My sister just had a baby two weeks ago so that took some of the pressure off me to produce a grandbaby (at least on my side of the family). For me, though, I made the decision that it is my life and I was not going to be pressured into huge life decisions because other people decided that was the next step I needed to take. I started a job at the beginning of this year as an associate at a larger law firm and that, more than anything else, drove my decision. I would like to get two years with the firm under my belt and pay down some of my student loans before I go on maternity leave and start to juggle major family commitments with work. I agree that it is possible to be "more ready" both financially and with where you are in your career.

  5. With my first it "just happened". Which I am glad because he saved my life in so many different ways. But with the second one we knew we wanted one right away, hence having a 2 month old on our one year anniversary. I believe that you know when you are ready. Take your time and enjoy your life in the now.

  6. This could literally be my post. I feel the exact same way about the whole thing. We've been married for two years and I am just now ready to buy our own house. I can feel myself getting closer to wanting a baby, but I'm not quite there yet. I am also a planner so we have to have the house first before I can even think of having kids.

    I have a feeling it's sort of going to be like getting engaged. We dated forever and about a year before we got engaged that was all I could think about. When will he propose? When will we get married, etc.

    I think when I'm ready for the baby it will be similar and you just start to get baby fever. Right now I have house fever, lol.

    Don't let anyone rush you. Becoming a parent is a long 18-year (at least) commitment. You have to do it on your own terms. At least that's my mindset.

  7. Ha! We get this question all the time. People need to just calm themselves down and stop being nosey! :)

  8. I thought this way for several years and, not to scare you or anything, we decided to start trying because the "timing was right" and... nothing. And the months ticked by... Long story short, I think we're now headed in the right direction now, but I definitely took my fertility for granted from ages 25-29!

    And I agree- screaming children in Target is a total buzz kill.

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