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Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Big News!

We’re Moving!

So, I guess that I can officially announce that George and I are moving!  George has taken a job in his hometown of Peoria, and we expect to move some time during the winter.

We have A TON of stuff to do between now and then.  First on the list, finding a place to live.  Currently, G and I are thinking that building a house is going to be our best option.  There aren’t a whole lot of existing houses on the market to choose from.  While building is a great idea, there is a ton of work and stress that comes along with it.  I get easily overwhelmed by choosing which color of socks to buy, so deciding between paint, trim, cabinet, carpet and the other 1,000 choices may leave me needing to be medicated.

I will also have to leave my job at St. Francis, which is going to be terribly painful.  It is the only nursing job I’ve ever had, and these guys are like family to me.  They have been by my side for the past 5 years, and I will cherish my friendships always.  As much as I whine about the ER sometimes, at least I’m in the trenches with some pretty wonderful people.  I will miss them dearly.

I hope to start a new job at St. Francis in Peoria.  The two St. Francis hospitals are not related.  Their ER is pretty great from what I hear.  They see quite a bit of trauma, so that excites me.  Pulling a critical patient out of a helicopter to then help save their life is quite the adrenaline rush, so I’m excited for that.  I have all of my trauma certifications, so I’m ready to put them to use!

Leaving my family and friends behind in Indiana is by far the toughest part.  I am an only child and so incredibly close to both my parents.  I know that they are going to visit a ton (we’ll both go back and forth), but it’s not the same.  Besides leaving my parents, I'm leaving behind my closest friends that I have known for many years.  (You guys better come visit me...or else :D)  I do have the occasional emotional meltdown, but I’m expecting that to happen from time to time throughout this process.

Now, on the flip side, it’s only a three-hour drive from Indy, so I need to stop being such a drama queen.  Three hours sure beats an expensive plane ride. Also, George's family is in Peoria.  I will be able to spend so much more time with them, and all of our kids will be able to grow up together.  That part will be great!

Peoria is a new adventure that I’m ready to make the most of.  I’m excited to discover new places, have a new place to live, and challenge myself with a new job.  I know this also comes with new stressors, but I’m ready.  Peoria is going to be awesome!

At least I keep telling myself that.  

Monday, July 29, 2013

Morristown 5 Miler Race Recap

Hey guys!  I'm FINALLY feeling better and had a great weekend.  I'm joining the Marathon Mondays linkup and doing a recap of my second race.

Coffee & macarons

Friday night, I hung out with George and some ER friends.  One of my besties, Aly, gave me the sweetest present to help me get out of my running funk.  It is a silver disc with the picture of a runner inside.  Seriously love it, and her.  She ran cross country in college and is a total badass.  (She deploys to Afghanistan in November...don't get me started... I'm going to be a wreck.)  More about Aly in a future post.

I mean, how cute is this?
So about the Morristown 5 Miler...

It is a race to honor a cross country coach who passed away while out on a run with his team.  The course is a down and back with the turnaround point at the coach's grave.  They now have a scholarship in his name for high school runners.

I woke up early on Saturday and did my typical routine of coffee, Think Thin bar, and a bottle of water.  It was chilly and raining, but I figured that it would pass.  As my dad and I were driving the 45 minutes out into the middle of nowhere, the weather did not look promising.

When we arrived, I saw runners doing their warmup runs in the pouring rain.  That is some serious dedication!  My "warmup" was running to and from the car.  My aunt works for the race organizer, so she had our bibs for us.

I had my dad take a "before" race picture, but it didn't really turn out due to the wind and rain.  At this point, I wanted to crawl into the warm car and drive home.

But... I didn't and started the race.  The rain let up, and things were going well.  I didn't take my phone, because I was worried about it getting wet, and the genius pictured above didn't wear a watch.  Oops.  The only way I knew my time was by hearing the people call it out at each mile marker.  I was still a little sick, so I really didn't care what my time was.  My goal was to just keep going.

At the start of mile 5, it seemed like it was just me and another lady out there.  The people in front of us were far ahead, and I couldn't hear anyone behind.  We ended up chatting and really pushing each other for the last mile.

By the time I crossed the finish line, my dad wasn't far behind.  The weather had cleared up, and the sun started to peek out.  I, somehow, got third in my age group.  (Don't get too excited, there were less than 10 in my age group).  I did get a $15 off gift certificate to the Athletic Annex, which is an awesome store to get your running shoes.

After.  Just happy that I finished and didn't pass out.
I ended up finishing in 48:44, which is about a 9:44 pace.  I'm honestly, pretty happy with that considering the circumstances.

This weekend, I'm planning to do my first 10 mile run, and I'm super excited.  I think I'm finally out of my funk!

What were you guys up to this weekend?

Sunday, July 28, 2013


Hey guys!  How do you like the new layout?  I was sick all week last week, so I had a ton of time just laying around the house.  I'm sure there are still bugs that I'll be working out, but I really like my mosaic Greek key design.

Next order of business- I've been tagged!  Madelyn from Reading Runner Girl tagged me in this fun ABC post.  If you haven't already, make some time to stop over at Madelyn's blog.  She posts book reviews and updates on her training for her first marathon!

So now that I've officially been tagged, here are my ABC's:

A.  Attached or Single?

Attached to my hubby, George.

B.  Best Friend

This is such a hard question! I have many friends that I would consider my besties.  Emily L., Sarah, Allie, Kristin, Ashley, and Aly come to mind first. 

C.  Cake or Pie?

I would probably have to go with pie, but only on the condition that it comes with a big scoop of vanilla ice cream.  

D.  Day of Choice?

Saturday mornings are the greatest.  Your weekend has just started, you have the choice to sleep in or wake up early, and you can take your time drinking your morning coffee.

E.  Essential Item?

Smith's Rosebud Salve.  It is the only lip stuff that isn't waxy and doesn't make my lips peel.  I love the kind in the tube and the mint as well.  You can buy it at Sephora.

F.  Favorite Color?

Blue.  I'm currently a little obsessed with navy and coral together.
I would dress like her everyday if I had more money and motivation.  I wear a lot of running stuff instead.

G.  Gummy Bears or Worms?

Probably neither?  I'm a much bigger fan of chocolate.  I can, however, consume a whole bag of Swedish Fish in one sitting.  

H.  Hometown?


I.  Favorite Indulgence?

Flourless chocolate torte from Stone Creek.  I get all slobbery just thinking about it.

J.  January or July?

July!  I love sitting outside at restaurants, wearing flip flops, and getting some sun on my face. Grilling out while playing fetch with Gracie in the backyard while sipping on a beer is pretty much the best thing ever.

K.  Kids

Even though I have a very extensive "Kiddos" board on Pinterest, George and I aren't ready yet.  I'll tackle that topic in 2014. :)

L.  Life Isn't Complete Without?

A dog.  Gracie has brought George and I so much joy, and I can't imagine life without her.  Dogs are the best listeners and offer an endless supply of snuggles and kisses. 
I have been a dog lover from the very beginning.  This is me and our family dog, Skip.

M.  Marriage Date?

August 25th, 2012.

Click here to see more of our wedding day.

N.  Number of Brothers/Sisters?

None.  I'm an only child.  

O.  Oranges or Apples?

Sliced Honeycrisp apples... with peanut butter.
I will be in a lifelong relationship with peanut butter.

P.  Phobias?

Spiders, pooping my pants during a race (I've read some horror stories), and things that slither.

Q. Quotes

R.  Reasons to smile?

Waking up and realizing you still have another hour to sleep, iced tea, talking and laughing with loved ones, getting a great deal, post run endorphins, I mean...I could go on forever.

S.  Season of choice?

Any season but winter.  I don't do cold.  I hate shoveling snow, driving in snow, and standing in snow.

T.  Tag People

Ashley and Stacy from Are You Guys, Like Twins?

U.  Unknown Facts About Me?

I'm working on a blog post on this topic.  I can't give it all away until then.

V.  Vegetable?

Artichokes!  Love them on pizza.  I also can't get enough yellow pepper, carrots (& hummus), and cucumber.   
I want to try this Grilled Artichoke and Lemon Aioli Recipe

W.  Worst Habit?

Being so much of a perfectionist that when finished,  I'm rarely happy with what I've done.  Wow, that's deep.  
I will also hit "touch up" on the dryer anywhere from 2 to 99 times before actually folding the laundry.  I am a picker.  I pick all my nail polish off if there's just one chip.

X.  X-ray or Ultrasound?

Um, really?  I guess I'd have to say ultrasound.  Ultrasounds make me think of babies, and that's a happy thing.  Also, when your ER patient goes to ultrasound, they're gone for a while, and it gives you time to get caught up on your other patients.  Being a radiologist's wife, you would think I'd have a better answer for this.

Y.  Your Favorite Food?

This is so hard.  The first thing that comes to mind is a big bowl of chopped fresh fruit, but then I realize that this is lame.  I LOVE fast food, but never get it because I'm convinced that it will give me cancer or Hepatitis A.  Sushi and Mexican will always be my top picks for dinners out.  I have an unhealthy obsession with guacamole.

Z.  Zodiac Sign?

Aquarius.  I don't really pay attention to my horoscope, unless it's a good one. :)

Have a wonderful, relaxing Sunday everyone!

Friday, July 26, 2013

5 on Friday

It's Friday!  Woot woot!  I've been sick all week, and wait for it...haven't run once.  Might I add that I have a 5 mile race tomorrow?  Shoot me...

So now that I'm a linkup addict, I'm getting my weekly fix.  I have joined the 5 on Friday linkup.  So, here are 5 things that have been on my mind this week.

1.) Fall

Why do I do this?  I can't just enjoy the season that I'm in.  I think I've been daydreaming of skinny pumpkin spice lattes and puffy vests because the midwest has been so stinkin' hot lately.  For real though, I can't wait to bust out some cute fall clothes.

2.) Cooling it with the Diet Coke

I love Diet Coke as much as the next girl, but I need to cool it.  I only drink it when I'm at work, but I drink too much of it!  I'm noticing that I feel like crap the day after (Diet Coke hangover?), the artificial sweeteners will probably lead me to stroke out one day, and it doesn't quench my thirst.  I'm trying to stick with delicious plain ol' water.

3.) Guns

I take a weights class once a week, but these past few weeks, I've been slacking.  I have some free weights that currently sit by my fireplace... and stay there.  I need to do some arm workouts while watching TV at night. Pictured is Amanda Russell.  I'm kind of a huge fan of hers.  She was about to qualify for the Olympics in the 10,000 meters, but got injured and had to stop running competitively.  She now has her own workout videos here free on YouTube.  She's a tiny little thing, but she is strong!

4.) Big Changes

I have some big changes coming up in my life, and with that, comes a ton of stress along with excitement.  I'm itching to share what's going on with the rest of the world!  So far, I'm taking it one day at a time and enjoying the ride.

5.) Ballet

I've been wanting to write a blog post about this for a long time, but I don't even know where to start.  Ballet was such a huge and influential part of my life for so long, it's hard to compile all of the thoughts, experiences, and emotions into words.  I have a feeling when I do get around to tackling this project, it will be a 6 part post. Bear with me people!

Well, there is a small piece of what's going on in my blogging brain.  Wish me luck tomorrow, as I might die out there. :)

What are some of the things on your Friday Five?

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Best Pasta Salad Ever

I made up this pasta salad on the fly when walking through the grocery store.  Often, I'll have no idea what I'm going to make until I walk the aisles.  I came across some Annie's Organic Roasted Red Pepper dressing and kind of went from there.  I like that this makes a large portion with no wasted ingredients.  Perfect for summer and easy too!
                                                      1.) 1 Box of tricolor bow tie pasta  
                                                      2.) Feta cheese for sprinkling on top 
                                                      3.) 1 Red pepper sliced thinly  
                                                      4.) 1 Bottle of Annie's Roasted Red Pepper dressing 
                                                      5.) 1 Can of quartered artichoke hearts (rinsed)  
                                                      6.) 3/4 Cucumber peeled and chopped 
                                                      7.) 1 Family size pouch of tuna  
                                                      8.) 1 Can of garbanzo beans (rinsed)
                                                      9.) 1 Bunch of green onions chopped

This is SUCH an easy dinner, and works awesome to make ahead.  I usually make this in the afternoon, and by the time George gets home, it has been chilling in the fridge and marinating in the yummy dressing.

Boil your pasta, rinse your canned goods in a strainer then chop your veggies and throw them in the strainer (eat the other quarter of your cucumber while you chop the rest of the veggies).  Rinse your pasta and combine everything in a big bowl: veggies & beans, tuna, whole bottle of dressing (it's a small bottle), and the pasta. Sprinkle the feta before serving (I used parmesan in the photo). 

What are some of your favorite summer meals?

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Meet the Greek

Hello everyone! I hope you're all having a wonderful Wednesday. I'm off work today and running some errands. I've been feeling tired and kind of sick for the past few days, so I've taken some days off from running.  I'm hoping that I'll get right back into it, so I have a long run planned for the evening. It is the same course that defeated me last week, so I'm ready to show it who's boss!

When planning to write another post, I realized that I haven't formally introduced "the Greek" of Beauty and the Greek.  I suppose to be fair, George counts as "the Beauty" too.  He is definitely the better looking one in the relationship.

So a little about George-

George grew up in Peoria, Illinois with his parents and younger brother.  His father and uncles owned restaurants together, so he spent a lot of time with his cousins growing up.  He is a part of a very tight knit Greek family, and he certainly misses them very much.

After college at Washington University, he went to the University of Illinois for medical school and Indiana University for his residency and fellowship.  (I'm VERY happy about this, because this is where he met me). Besides running (he's speedy for an old guy), he enjoys brewing his own beer.

***Caution- Mushiness Ahead

So besides the typical stuff, here is what I think you should know about George.  He is pretty much the best thing ever. George is the chip to my guac, the bee's knees, the I could go on, but I'll spare you.

Besides being a super hottie, he is one of the smartest people I know.  He has an amazing work ethic, and works his butt off without complaining.  His hard work makes my life easier.  For this, I am so incredibly grateful.

George is an excellent listener, advice giver, and secret keeper.  I feel that I can talk to him about anything openly and honestly.  He is my best friend.

He is thoughtful, generous, and loyal.  George makes me laugh, understands me (sometimes better than I understand myself), and most importantly- makes me happy.  The years that I have known George have been the happiest of my life.

***End of Mushiness

George is a fairly private person, so I don't know if I'll ever get him to write a post on the blog or be a big presence on here, and that's ok with me.
*He does, though, serve as my proof reader.  If you find any mistakes on here, they have most likely been pointed out by George, but kept unchanged by myself.  (See, I don't care if I end a sentence with a preposition... lighten up grammar nazis.)

So, now that you know a little more about "the Greek," I want to know from you guys:
If you blog, how does your husband feel about it?  

Monday, July 22, 2013

Where Did My Mojo Go?

Hello everyone!  Happy Monday!  I hope you all had a wonderful weekend, and you're ready for another awesome week. (<This enthusiasm is a little fake.  I work a full 12 hour shift today, and Mondays are always a zoo in the ER.)

Typical Monday pre-shift pep talk
So, my running recap.  This past week, as far as running goes, has been super craptastic.


4.5 miles with my dad.  It was hot, it was hilly, and I was tired.  I knew from the very first mile that my legs felt like they had bricks tied to them.  Maybe this is because it was the first day after my 5k race?  Who knows?


5 miles on Zionsville trail.  It took George and I longer than we thought to get out the door.  We ended our run at 85 degrees.  I can't run in the heat, and I got SO frustrated with myself.  It ended badly.


4 miles on the treadmill.  I was so sick of sucking in the heat, so I thought running on the treadmill would be a confidence boost.  I'm always faster when I run on the treadmill because it's easier right?  Wrong... my 4 mile time was pretty much the same as it is outside.


9 miles with my dad.  This run wasn't awful, but I know that I'm capable of so much more.  This is the farthest I've ever run, so I should give myself a little credit.  It was pretty warm and VERY humid.  We did a 4.5 mile down and back on the Monon trail.  I knew from the beginning that it was going to be a loonnnng 9 miles.

I tried a Lemon Lime Gu at the half way point.  It was terrible.  I had to chug water just to swallow it.  Think lemon lime flavored snot. I will be sticking to the chewy things from now on.  Check out my review of mid run energy snacks here.

So, as I'm running around mile 5 (my dad and I had split up at this point), I see a bunch of people pointing me towards the right fork of the trail.  I'm tired, dehydrated, and the left fork was straight uphill and over a bridge.  I go right.  20-30 people are yelling, "way to go!" and "almost there!"

*Emily's Mind: "Wow, really supportive runners on this trail!...... Wait, why is there a time clock?..... Do these people think I'm in some sort of race?......Am I winning? :)"

I run past the finish line, and across the street totally embarrassed.  Now what?  I climb up a little hill of rocks, shimmy under the guardrail, my legs are too tired to support me, and I fall flat on my face onto the trail.  For those of you that don't know me, this kind of stuff happens to me all the time.

After I got up and acted like crawling onto the trail from a ravine below was no biggie, I kept on running.  I got a second wind around 6.5 miles and quickly lost it at 7.5.  The last mile and half was hot, and there was a mirage of chocolate milk always a quarter mile ahead of me.

This is the part where I got delirious and started talking to myself.

I was hurtin' for certain, and I was willing to try anything.  I had read that some other runners have "mantras" that they repeat when they need an extra boost.  Out of nowhere, I said somewhat quietly to myself (I don't want to look crazy out there), "You are strong, you can do this."  It actually worked!  Who knew?  I'll definitely be busting that one out again.

9 miles, DONE!  I'm ready for double digits!

When I got home, George and I hopped in the car for a 3 hour drive to a wedding.  I wore my compression socks, Ugg slippers, and some dry clothes.  George said that I "look redonkulous."  I have no shame.  I was also ravenously hungry and inhaled a six inch sub, chips, and a cookie.  I heart Subway.

Best iced tea and tuna sub of my life.
George and I had so much fun at the wedding.  His entire family was there, and it was absolutely gorgeous.  The bride and groom seem so happy and perfect for each other.  I love going to weddings even more now that I'm married.  They make me all, "AW!! Remember when we did this? I love you!... Let's renew our vows!"

Sorry George, I love wearing tall heels :)
So, I had a pretty great weekend, even if I was slightly disappointed in my run.  

Next on the agenda, my really super exciting news... but I can't make it public yet.  I really really can't wait to share it, and no... I'm not pregnant.

Hopefully, by the next time you hear from me, I will have found my running mojo.

What did you guys do this weekend?  Have you ever lost your running mojo?  If so, where did you find it?

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Finish the Sentence Linkup

Wasn't planning on posting anything today, but I was reading over Holly's Blog and couldn't not do this linkup. Am I going overboard on the linkups? The answer is: who cares.


So here is how I finish these sentences...

If I had one extra hour in the day... 
...I'd use it to workout!  Lies... I'd probably use it to sleep, then eventually use it to waste time on the internet and still go to bed late and get 6 hours of sleep.

I wish my name... 
...was easier for people to spell and pronounce. That's what I get for marrying a Greek guy :)

I think anything chevron is...

...maybe starting to go out of style?  Currently researching getting a new blog layout.

My last nightmare...

...was that I was getting married to my husband AGAIN, and things were going to hell in a hand basket.  No one knew where my dress was, the flowers hadn't arrived, etc. I thought the unprepared wedding dreams stopped after you got married?  


**My first thought was to quote Molly Shannon from Superstar, but I will not.
...I sing to my dog, hit the snooze button 20 times before waking up (I set 3 alarms), sit out in the sun for a half hour just to get a little bit of a tan. <I know Mom, I know....

My last meal on earth would be...
...a turkey burger with cheese, fruit salad, cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory, and a Diet Coke.

I would much rather be  feeling great  than  looking great .

Mayonnaise... delicious in tuna salad.  

10 years ago, I didn't think...

...that I would be doing anything else besides being a professional ballet dancer.

Selfishly... how George and I are living before we have kids.  We're trying to squeeze out every ounce of free time, vacation, and spontaneity. 

My favorite show on TV right now... Below Deck, hands down.  If you don't watch it, you need to start.  It's Real World mixed with Real Housewives...on a boat.

And, George Zimmerman...

...has been found not guilty, and now we need to deal with it.  

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

So What Wednesday

Happy Hump Day guys!

I have joined another linkup with Shannon at The Life After I Dew.  I'm loving the idea for this linkup!  Putting your imperfections out there for the world to see is therapeutic lets the world know that you are a real person. I love reading these and saying, "I do this too!"

Okay, so here goes nothing...
So What Wednesday

So What If...

  • I don't wash my face every night before bed.  I use a makeup wipes most nights, but when I get off work, I fall face first into bed.  

  • I DVR reruns of Will and Grace and watch at least one a day, even though I have seen them all AND have every season on DVD.

  • I'm waiting until we have company over to really deep clean the house.  I have NO motivation to clean when the weather is warm and I could be doing something else outside.

  • I get all my news from Twitter and occasionally the Yahoo homepage.

  • I treat those $10 off cards from Victoria's Secret like they are going to disintegrate at any second. I get one of those puppies in the mail, and I'm off to go spend it IMMEDIATELY.  Having one expire is my worst nightmare. <Dramatic much?

  • I haven't done hardly an research for our Europe trip in August.  It's all about adventure right?

  • I go through our wedding pictures and watch parts of our wedding video at least once a month.  I just can't get enough of one of the best days of my life.

  • I can spend an hour in Charming Charlie and just buy a few things.  I want to make sure I'm not missing out, so I take my time!  I know the girls that work there are probably sick of asking, "Are you finding everything ok?" "Yes lady, just let me do my thang!"

  • The only reason I got the Sunday paper was for the crossword puzzle and Sunday ads.

  • I watch Real Housewives, on the couch, while eating frozen yogurt, and surfing Pinterest.  This happens more often than I'd care to say...

What kinds of things are on your "So What?" list?

Monday, July 15, 2013

First Race Ever!

Hello, everyone!  I hope you had a fabulous weekend.  On Saturday, I ran my first race ever! 

**(Well, if you want to be super technical, I have “run” one race before earlier this summer.  The Indianapolis Tap ‘n’ Run.  It’s a 4k “run” where you stop and drink a beer at every kilometer.  You have to pay extra to have it timed, and we definitely did not.  Our group wore sweat bands and mustaches (there is a prize for best mustache, shortest shorts, and a variety of other ridiculous things). 


But back to Saturday, my first REAL race that was timed...

The race was a 5k for the Joseph Maley Foundation.  Joseph was plagued by illness his entire life until passing away from leukemia at the age of eighteen. His parents set up this race to raise money to "serve children and adults of all abilities."  It was awesome to run knowing that you're supporting such a great cause.

The race took place at Eagle Creek Park and, ok, as embarrassed as I am to say this...I was nervous!  My dad and George were laughing at me because I was all stressed out. (Typical)

I didn’t really have much strategy for the race.  I was hoping to finish under 30 minutes but wasn’t going to go home and cry if I didn’t.  My dad and I ran a quick little warm up run before it started.  I’m so, so glad that we did this.  When the race actually started, I already felt like my muscles were ready to go.

As everyone lined up at the start line, Joseph’s dad talked a little bit about the race and his son.  Joseph’s pediatrician then sang the national anthem, and off we went.
This man had some pipes!
George up there hanging with the cross country guys
In this race, walkers and runners all start together.  Most of the walkers started on the side, so the runners could run through easily.  My dad and I took our sweet time getting to the starting line because I assumed that my chip would pick up when I crossed the start line.  WRONG… when the gun goes off, that is your start time.  I did run with my phone in my hand, and I started it right as I crossed the line.  I love always knowing my time and pace, but at this race, I barely looked at it.

My dad told me to go on ahead, so ahead I went.  After escaping from behind a pack of moms with jogging strollers (does this annoy anyone else?), I felt like I could actually run.  I would run behind people for a bit, see how I felt, then choose someone else up ahead of me to run behind.  I didn’t have headphones in, so I mostly just eavesdropped.  I did this throughout the entire race.  It worked pretty well. 

I have a fear of starting out too fast and crapping out in the end.  My first mile was 9:25, second was 8:50, and third 8:56.  Between the second and third mile there were a couple big hills that minorly sucked… but not too bad.

I ended up finishing in 27:45.  When I looked up my time online, it showed a little slower than that, but that was the time that it took me to get to the start.  Overall, I’m very happy with my time.  I did my first race and learned that there is really no reason to be nervous.  I met my goal of completing it under 30 minutes.

George was waiting for me at the finish.  He averaged a 5:57 pace.  So proud of him!

My dad finished shortly after I did.

We ate some strawberry shortcake and popsicles and stuck around to watch the awards.  All in all, I had a great time.  I had a lot more fun than I anticipated.  I kind of can’t wait for my next race!

Do you remember your first race?  Did you enjoy it?